Dad yells at mom for letting their toddler shout and play loudly while he was in a meeting in his home office: 'I hope whoever was on that call heard you being horrible to your wife.'

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  • A happy toddler boy in the bedroom at home having fun
  • Am I the bad guy for asking my wife to keep our toddler under control?

    I work from home in an office upstairs. I told my wife this morning that I had a high stress day and would be on calls most of the morning.
  • Man in black sweater using macbook pro
  • Whilst on one of these calls I could hear our toddler in the adjacent room shouting, banging and generally having a very fun, albeit loud, time.
  • I wasn't quite sure why he was up there given that I had expressed a need for quiet and we have a playroom downstairs.
  • Interior design on a kindergarten classroom
  • It was interfering with the meeting that I was already stressed about so I excused myself and went next door, asked my wife what was going on and why our toddler was making so much noise, and to keep it down or take them downstairs.
  • The answer was that they were getting ready to go out.. but it very much looked like playtime.
  • The noise stopped and I rejoined the meeting. I checked my phone afterwards and saw a message from my wife - "I hope whoever was on that call heard you being horrible to your wife".
  • Which feels like a huge overreaction. I didn't shout. I didn't use harsh language, I just firmly asked what is going on because it was disruptive and I had communicated that I needed quiet.
  • AITAH? I feel like I handled it reasonably. You can't stop a toddler from making noise, but you can absolutely keep them somewhere in the house that isn't disruptive.
  • I shouldn't have to explain that or get demonised for expecting it.
  • DellaDiablo I'm just going to guess that the issue is with how it was communicated. Tone can change the most reasonable request into a condescending and cold instruction, rather than a request. NTA for the request, possibly the AH for how it may have been uttered.
  • Sad-Structure4781 NTA. You clearly communicated ahead of time that you needed quiet, and it's reasonable to expect your wife to manage where playtime happens during an important call. You didn't yell or insult her, you addressed an immediate issue that was impacting your work. Toddlers are loud, yes, but adults can plan around that, especially with a playroom downstairs.
  • blue_eyes_forever NTA Honestly if the roles were reversed I think we would say this is weaponized incompetence. You aren't asking for much by asking for the play time activities be away from your office and meeting... it sounds like your house is big enough.
  • Waltekin Just to toss this in: headphones are not the answer. Likely he already has some. They are not good at filtering out shrill voices (toddler shrieks). Also he still has a microphone for when he talks, and that will pick up the toddler noise as well. His wife screwed up, and needs to own it. Sure, he was probably not 100% polite when talking to her, but that's totally understandable. NTA
  • Interesting_Kale9680 NTA. She's a SAHM because you work - your request was totally reasonable. FWIW I'm a woman.
  • AsethDearnight Nah, NTA. You clearly informed her beforehand, there is a playroom downstairs, she disregarded you while you were stressed, and her reaction afterwards was very much over the top while she could have apologised.
  • sexybigbooblatina >AITAH for asking my wife to keep our toddler under control This question is hilarious.
  • TreeDog4466 NTA My wife works from home all the time and when we're being noisy I just take the kid to a less-close room. She is being inconsiderate and playing victim.

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